Hey you. How are you? I hope you are well. It’s been a tough time for me, but things are finally starting to come together. I’ve been asking myself if I’m settling lately. Here’s what’s helped: Shifting Perspective to Shift Results.
Today’s post was sparked by something I read in an old notebook recently I’d like to share…
Feelings are not permanent
Life is phases. We don’t feel the same way about people or circumstances forever (especially those that are negative). Time heals. We evolve. Our perspectives and awareness change (hopefully for the better, but if not, no worries, that’s not permanent either).
I wrote these words 2 years ago and I’m so glad I found them today, because lately I don’t like who I am and how I feel. These words genuinely gave me hope to remember that this is not permanent and thinking crappy thoughts does not make me a crappy person. Have you ever felt that way? Can you relate?
It’s really hard right now for me to remember that feelings are not permanent. Life changes. Change used to scare me… and now it brings me comfort. Here’s the thing I’m so glad to reminded myself of:
Without exception: There’s always an opportunity for you to shift your life. Your perspective creates your reality and you are more powerful than you think.
I want the shift. I am craving a change in mindset more than anything. Shifting perspective to shift results… that’s where I’m at.
To be honest, my husband and I would like to start a family. That process has taken longer than I’d like it to, and recently, my go-with-the-flow attitude has turned into a hopelessness and sadness that my body isn’t getting it right. It’s one of the most complicated emotions I’ve ever felt, and the amount of pressure it’s created for my mental health and relationship are worse than anything I’ve ever gone through. My heart really goes out to anyone experiencing this.
Lately, things are starting to settle and I’m already feeling the healing effects of time. I’m no longer as afraid of failing at creating life or successfully becoming pregnant, it’s actually the middle that terrifies me. The in between we often create for ourselves. You may know it as settling.
Are you settling?
I have been asking myself if I’m settling. Settling for “good enough” is not nearly as scary as putting my whole heart into something. When I go all in, there’s a much bigger risk I’ll fail and have my heart broken. Being half assed about things is not nearly as intimidating as putting myself out there. Because, well, what if I make it? That can be scary too. Making it means we’re playing at the next level, which comes with more challenges. What if we fail then… in spectacular fashion?
I’ve been living in the middle for some time. I’ve been trying to play it cool convincing myself and others that starting a family isn’t that important to me. I’ve not wanted to go all in because each month it can be a crushing disappointment to find out it’s not happening. I’ve been safely taking risks with bumpers so as to protect myself from disappointment… and that just isn’t working for me anymore.
I’ve been settling instead of embracing where I am and bravely sharing my desires, and yes, my disappointments. Mostly, I think I’ve been making it mean something about me. That I don’t deserve or can’t have what I want… That I’m thirsty? A wannabe? A failure? A loser?
Find the proof in your life it’s all happening for you
Maybe this is why I journal? It’s one of my favorite benefits to look back and see with my current perspective how it all ended up fine. Even if it wasn’t the outcome or timing I wanted.
The proof is etched in dozens of notebooks. Hundreds of pages filled with concrete evidence of my desires and challenges all leading eventually to attaining that goal or getting something better. To be honest, this didn’t make me feel better when I was in the thick of it, but after sitting with it, it’s renewed my faith.
Faith is a funny word. I’ve shared here my struggle to define what I have faith in. Faith is a blind leap. If you’re not devoutly religious or set in your beliefs, it can feel like you don’t even know what you’re having faith in. I’ve reconnected with the notion that life is happening for me, that it’s always been happening for me even when I couldn’t see it.
Shifting Perspective to Shift Results
So here’s where I am today. Actively reading my past and mining my old journals to remind myself that all the people, circumstances and things in my life were once desires that didn’t exist. I am creating an appreciation for everything I have and shifting my perspective. I’m hoping this will shift my mindset, and eventually, my results. And that’s all any of us can do. Show up and do the work.
Does this resonate with you? I’d love to hear about it. And, please know, I am sending you a warm hug as you read this.
Ps. If you liked this post, you may like my memior, Embrace That Girl.
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