My writer’s block has been on another level. Lately, all I can manage to write is my personal journal to let out some of the angst I’ve been feeling. Moving has been hard. It’s exciting, and I love North Carolina, but there are parts of moving that have felt downright painful. Some days I try to look out at the mountains and find my center by remembering why we moved here. It doesn’t always work.

I realized I haven’t allowed myself to feel those feelings fully because I’m aware of how thankful I should be. You wouldn’t believe the number of people I run into here in Western North Carolina, from Asheville to Waynesville and Bryson City, who all are moving here but struggling to make it work financially… others are thinking about it and trying to make the leap. It makes me feel ever the more guilty to meet those people knowing I am here, making it work, and still some days I can’t muster the energy to go outside.

It’s not one thing in particular that makes me feel this way, it’s more of an overwhelming sense of not finding my place here. I realized staying in doesn’t help, so lately, we’ve been making a big effort to get out and discover everything around us. It’s good to get outside of myself, go out into nature, meet people and experience all there is to do up here in The Smokies.

I guess it’s just growing pains? I didn’t kid myself when we uprooted our life it wouldn’t be an adjustment. It was new and fun for so long they didn’t have a chance to settle in until recently.

I almost didn’t mix these posts up… one about a beautiful farm, the other about sad feelings, but that wouldn’t be honest, would it? The truth is… going to Darnell Farms was fun. I loved being out in their gorgeous landscape, walking through their little shop, putting fresh, colorful produce in my little basket and tugging Bo to come closer. Poor thing, all she wanted to do was run. She took one look at that big, open field and took off. I felt so bad I couldn’t unleash her, she’s so friendly, but it’s a farm and I didn’t want her to accidentally mess up any of the crops. So I ran with her, which looked ridiculous–– me with my backpack bouncing up and down as she dragged me on her leash–– it looked like a weird run that was fast enough for Bo and slow enough to not jiggle. Hah. All in all it was joyful and I was happy in the sunshine. Sometimes I get the blues and there’s no better fix than to get out of my mind and into my body.