You may have read here we’re expecting. Today, I wanted to share my second trimester goals during pregnancy. Let’s go!

I have a friend who calls the second trimester of pregnancy the “honeymoon phase,” which seems accurate to my experience so far. My first trimester was rough. I was SO sick, I didn’t want to eat anything, I could barely move, I struggled to be enthusiastic about anything. As soon as I hit my second trimester, like clockwork, I felt better. All of a sudden, I had energy, an appetite and I was feeling like myself again. It’s a gift, truly.

As I write this I’m enjoying a piping hot mug of coffee and enjoying a bagel with oat milk cream cheese (I bought this by accident but I love it). There’s fog sitting atop the mountains I see, my every day “office” view. Damn, I feel so lucky. Before I get into second trimester goals, I wanted to share:

 

The MOST pivotal lesson I learned from my first trimester: surrender.

 

Being pregnant was hard for me at first. It was tough not to be able to do the same things I used to do, or eat the same things and generally I found it to be a big lifestyle change. Even in the mindset of consciously trying to conceive, I was not prepared for how resistant I’d be. Towards the end of my first trimester, something clicked and I let go and accepted this new reality. My mantra: I accept that I am not in control of my body. I accept some days may start with the best of intentions, and then I may feel sick or exhausted, and I get to be prepared to pivot.

This acceptance has taught me to go easy and flow. I don’t take plans too seriously, and that way I don’t get disappointed if the day turns out to be a relaxed one. At first, I viewed those days as a wash, but they’re not. Your body does a ton of work during the first trimester, so the faster you can accept life will be different, the easier of a time you will have.

 

My second trimester goals – #1 Create a registry & purchase the essentials

 

Man, babies need stuff. A lot of stuff. I resisted this SO much. The last thing I wanted to do with my newfound energy was research things I need to buy… so I didn’t…ish. For me, reading books and starting from scratch seemed like a pain, so I asked a few friends with kiddos their favorite things, weighed those against each other and chose from there. I pressed the easy button and you’ll come to see, that’s my theme for pregnancy. While I did minimal research on my own, I’m fine with it. I may do a post sharing my registry if it helps, but I am by no means a mommy blogger. So do with it what you will. This is a real talk, no frills account of mom prep.

 

 

My second trimester goals – #2 Finish baby nursery

 

Now,  in my humble opinion, this is more for you. Most babies spend much of their first year in your bedroom. This depends on parenting style, but I’ve found that to be the case for most people I ask. Does the baby need a super cute room? No. They need essentials (ie. the items on your registry to keep them alive, fed and clothed), but they don’t need that cute crib or accent wall. I’m taking advantage of my energy knowing that the third trimester tends to be closer in experience to the first in terms of a lack of energy and enthusiasm (everyone is different, but I’ve found this to be somewhat universal). And also, I don’t wanna prep a room with a newborn. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

 

My second trimester goals – #3 Cultivate a yoga & mind / body practice

 

This advice has come from a few friends with kiddos, specifically in terms of labor. My back tends to hurt ever since a car accident, so the yoga helps keep my joints loose and my back pain to a minimum… plus it helps me connect within. D-day, as I like to call it, used to scare me out of the idea of having kids. But every woman goes through it and most told me having a mindfulness practice helps prepare for that day and parenting in general. I’m at my best when I practice yoga regularly and connect within myself.

 

My second trimester goals – #4 Plan baby party

 

Okay, I prefer to call it a baby party vs. a baby shower. So sorry, unpopular opinion here: baby showers are not fun. Ugh! I said it. Don’t hate me, please. Most women secretly agree… I don’t love the games (in fact some of them, like measuring the belly, I find a bit demeaning and outdated). Again, this is my experience, every woman should have the pregnancy experience she wants, including a baby shower if that’s your jam. It isn’t mine, so it’s a co-ed baby party for us!

We’re planning two, a bigger gathering in our hometown (Miami, Fl) and a smaller one with our close friends here in Bryson City, Nc. Again, the key for me here is simple. I don’t want to fuss. I don’t derive joy from event planning (MAD respect for everyone in the hospitality and events industry), so for me, an easy way to celebrate hits the spot. And I’d like to still be energetic in my pregnancy, so the second trimester goals definitely include our baby party!

 

My second trimester goals – #5 Sort out all the insurance

 

Whether you’re employed, are on your partner’s insurance or are relying on government assistance, I think this is without a doubt a MUST in second trimester goals. Sort this stuff out sooner than later! Who wants a baby to arrive and a mountain of debt without a plan? Yikes.

A few things I recommend, call your hospital. The hospital I’m giving birth at has staff hired to debrief you on this specifically because it’s a bit complicated. In my case (and many other cases), I’ll get about 4 separate bills after birth from: my OB, the hospital, the anesthesia (if used) and prenatal appt. That last bill actually gets sent to your baby. Yes, correct, your baby is in the world for exactly a day before he/she gets a bill. I’m so glad I asked because that would have left me confused on how to proceed.

If you give birth after the new year, most hospitals recommend calling back should plans / coverage change (these changes tend to be minimal but it’s worth confirming). If you opted for short-term disability, that’s something you get to reach out to ask about as your due date approaches. And, the day your baby is born, you must call your insurance provider to put them on it so they are covered.

I can’t speak for government assistance, but I urge anyone to call all the doctors, hospitals and insurance/government agencies ahead of time so you won’t have surprises and can save up.

 

My second trimester goals – #6 Plan for help

 

Whatever this looks like for you, plan for help. Talk with your partner about how long you want alone time to bond (if any), who will come over to assist and when, what assistance and support looks like, etc. All of my friends tell me this is a really tough time for women, who are exhausted, still going through body changes and hormonal (ugh!). It’s not the time to start thinking about boundaries and plans. I suggest planning ahead. In my case, this includes making a work plan for my day job and leaving that all sorted, support for our side hustle (vacation rentals) and, of course, support for us as first time parents.

I’m a person who really appreciates my space so, for me, this looks like a lot of exploratory conversations with Jaime, and asking my friends how they felt, what they liked (and didn’t like) about visitors, etc. I don’t like to be caught off guard and at my worst for these types of important decisions, so it may be because of my personality, but either way I suggest thinking about how you’d feel most supported 🙂

 

My second trimester goals – #7 Plan a baby moon

 

Another unnecessary thing but one I’m opting for anyway is a “baby moon.” If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a vacation you take with your partner before baby arrives. We went big and splurged on our favorite hotel in our favorite place on earth: Key West. Lucky for me, we’re also doing this during my second trimester so I’ll have energy… and it’ll be December in the keys, so not hot as sin. If you want to do this, and my friends who opted for it really recommend it, think about where you’re going, the weather that time of year, and most importantly, how far along you’ll be. I hope to be pleasantly surprised, but like I said, most women tell me the third trimester is slow, uncomfortable and tiring. Not the time to do all the things…

 

Am I missing anything? Probably! Haha… But for me these were the bigger picture goals I wanted to get out of my second trimester. What were your goals? I wanna know! Tell me in the comments 🙂

 

Ps. If you liked this post, you may like my memior, Embrace That Girl.

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