But first, WTF is a surrender experiment and why am I here? Good questions…
The Surrender Experiment is a book by Michael A. Singer. It’s also not a particularly compelling read (at least for me it wasn’t). But the message is powerful, so I grit my teeth and got through my own resistance to the writing. I surrendered to reading it all, even when parts were just boring or not really resonant for me (it’s a best seller, so tons of people loved it for the record!). It chronicles the story of Singer’s search for enlightenment, which for him, was surrendering to the flow of life. Meaning, not pushing for things and moving enthusiastically towards whatever landed on his path–– even if he hated it.
When Singer says don’t push, he doesn’t mean don’t put forth effort. This man efforts in whatever endeavor literally lands before him, many of which seem like oddball choices. Ultimately, he learns how to release control and resistance to that which makes him uncomfortable, plus he discovers these situations (people, projects, opportunities, failures) that came to him were meant to take him somewhere purposeful.
After each chapter, I couldn’t help but begin to identify what those things are in my life. Haven’t there been people who asked me to do projects I totally brushed off because it felt inconvenient or I resisted it? How many little universal nudges have I ignored at this point? Turns out, once I began to pay attention… a lot.
Fifty first dates after 50 (the first yes in my surrender experiment)
I got an email weeks ago from an agent pitching me to read and review this book. I will be honest, it did not exactly attract me. I hadn’t updated this blog in months because life had been stressful. I thought: I should just tell her no respectfully, if I’m going to devote my time to anything shouldn’t it be our Youtube channel? We haven’t posted in months. And then I realized… wait, if I was doing a surrender experiment, wouldn’t I say yes and see where it goes? So I accepted and now I’m 50 pages in to date 4, we’re at a sensual retreat and the author is referring to her vagina as her yoni. That is what surrender looks like for me.
Book Project (a universal nudge I ignored)
I was approached a number of years back to help someone write a children’s book, which I resisted. I hadn’t yet published my own book, I don’t have children or an affinity for kid’s books, so I shrugged it off. I was literally tanning in my parent’s back yard when this man walked in and presented the opportunity to me. He was a childhood friend of my dad’s, I saw him a lot while growing up but they lost touch over the years. He felt this chance visit to my dad was about finding me, a writer, when he needed one to bring this story to life. And maybe it was. I let the opportunity go. Where would it have led had I simply went with the flow of what life was putting in front on me, I wonder.
Telling someone else’s story (a current universal nudge)
This theme continues to follow me and I currently have a new opportunity to co-write someone else’s story. Another one that literally presented itself on my path without my searching for it. It’s an incredible story… one of the most compelling I’ve ever heard. But again, I felt that resistance… am I the co-writer of someone else’s story? I wasn’t sure… but now I’m starting to think about it. I don’t have a current book project lined up and last year I devoted so much time to my book, Embrace That Girl.
Couldn’t it be fun to take a break from writing about myself and step into someone else’s life? That could be exciting and refreshing if I let it be.
No pushing for me, thank you very much
Mainly my goal lately is to allow life to be a playful collaboration with source (god, the universe, whatever you call it). I can be rigid with myself, often strangling my creative ideas with over planning. Efforting too much in all the ineffective ways. Singer was on to something with that simple rule of his: follow the path as it reveals itself to you. His inclinations when met with an “opportunity” often mirrored my own control and guardedness. This is a regular dude who thinks just like I do and still managed to drop that discomfort and flow with life. If he could do it, I can too.
My surrender experiment is already leading me to all sorts of ideas. My mind has been buzzing as soon as I relinquished control and let myself be! All of a sudden a podcast about creativity came into my path, just when I was craving my own creative challenge to revive that art making muscle.
The same little coincidences started to happen that I read Singer describe in his book. When I’m tuned it, it seems crazy I missed them before. Some of them are painfully obvious, while others admittedly take some flexibility and awareness. But that’s the GOOD STUFF, right? Not all opportunities in life come so obviously, learning to discern the diamonds in the rough can be a breakthrough superpower.
I’m pretty much living my life as a yes woman these days and I’ve been delightfully surprised by how much fun I’m having.
Letting it be & loving it,
C.