The good news: it’s still a strong story that resonates. The bad news: apparently, it’s not as long as it should be.

Several weeks ago, I attended a local event with a book agent panel. I had the opportunity to pitch an agent one-on-one and this was the explicit advice I received: Keep writing. You’re not finished.

Like the well rounded adult I am, I took this news with all the regal elegance and grace of a pageant mom on the losing end at Miss Teen America. My face screwed up in the familiar forms of what our generation has dubbed The Ugly Cry. These things do happen, my friend cooed to me over a Whatsapp voice note sent from afar, the city bustle of her foreign home adding to the soundtrack of her encouraging words. I feel like this cements your success, it’s an experience that’s so cliche. It’s part of the journey.

Patience

I am not what you would call a patient person. Often, I skip parts of the process to get something done living by the credo, Better Done Than Perfect. Although, I am also a perfectionist. I realize these are competing personality traits that don’t belong in the same human. They never made much sense to me either until I took Carl Jung’s famous personality test and learned I belong to an elite 0.8% of the population dubbed female INTJs. Apparently, this idealogical personality is both a visionary but practical and this complexity in personal beliefs shows up in different aspects of our lives. It may have been helpful to know this growing up, but again, these things do happen.

The logical part of me understood the feedback on the length of my novel, while not delivered with much sympathy, is not to be taken personally. These agents follow a set of guidelines that yield best sellers. They don’t often deviate from that. On the other hand, well, didn’t a little part of me know this could use more of something? Wasn’t there that one chapter no one particularly liked but I kept any way because it meant something to me?

Patience is a lesson that shows up in my space often. Its persnickety presence in my life has been as welcome as someone passing gas in an elevator. Despite my best efforts to feign patience, I can’t escape the stink of it. What we resist, persists. That’s an incredibly annoying adage people love to say, myself included. And yet its tartness only contributes to its truthfulness.

When following my dream, I’m learning that all these cliches about being patient, persistent and becoming a better person are true. Good things take time, that’s another one I hate. But it is true, the best things I’ve ever accomplished in my life were the result of steady patience, finding joy in the process (not the result) and an unrelenting positive outlook (despite where I was along the journey).

Process

So, I sent my book back for more feedback and found some great news: I get to go to Spain! Well, not literally, but in my story. Although ultimately, it’s up to me how to approach this feedback, it seems a crucial piece of the story feels unexplored.

Spain is a big part of the story and a bigger influence than I originally thought. Without giving away too much, the road to discovering who I am – and to my surprise – who I’d end up with, is heavily woven into this country. The country where my family originated and the place where I frequently visited in my twenties in an effort to know my history… but also do all the things twenty year olds should do abroad.

Becoming better

I haven’t made a commitment yet on how to proceed with any of the advice. I’ve opted to let it sit for some time and become firmly implanted in my vision on becoming a better person and storyteller. At the end of the day, that’s the point, right? To be better. To stay relentlessly positive and derive joy from the work we dedicate our lives to. At least, I think so.

 

Have you ever received an unexpected setback on a project or dream? If so, how did you handle it? Tell me, I’d love to talk about it.